Cunit

Ride the pony

Pony Malta is a deliciously sweet, semi-sparkling malt drink. It's super-refreshing and full of energy so it's perfect whether you are just waiting for a pig to eat an apple:

Watching the sex-frogs:

Or simply blacking up with a sex partner.

So Malty! So delicious! Pony!

Eh?

The best thing I ate in Mexico?

Probably this: a banana cut in half, stuffed with vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, squirty cream and topped with a glace cherry.

Don't know what it's called but in honour of the fact that we are leaving mexico tomorrow I'll call it a Mañana Flit.

Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience.

What I've been up to

Long version:

Short version:

Beards Megastore

I'll have a Kevin Costner, a David Brent, a 1984 - no wait, a 1989 - Freddy Mercury and a couple of Yorkshire Rippers please.

Il Pleut

You will no doubt be delighted to learn that it is absolutely sheeting down in Palo Alto today so we've gone to the mattresses "Manchester style" for the duration (kettle on continuous boil, Hatfull of Hollow on the radio, Fray Bentos for tea). We ventured out this morning to get you these visual treats though.

The Glass Slipper Inn, Palo Alto. Nota Bene: "Glass slipper" is the industry term for the impractical looking transparent plastic shoes worn by adult entertainers. Lucky they don't have to walk very far.

No, Kate hasn't stopped laughing yet.

Also what's all this about eh?

Calistoga

We've been in Calistoga for a couple of days. Its a fun town sitting on top of thermal springs. The mud king lives here and I can see why.

The whole town smells of independence, wisdom and something else which I can't put my finger on. Must be success.

We're camping at the state campground (behind the CalMart on 4th if you are familiar with the area). The other occupants are the RV club from the local Elk's Lodge the "Elk-A-Haul-icts" and teenagers here for the Rock of Ages Christian festival at the state park next door. It's quite easy to tell them apart as the Elks are mostly 13 year old girls wearing T-shirts that say "I heart hardcore christian guys".

Went to a NASCAR bar called Suzies last night and got talking to a nice young couple who invited us to a party at their hash farm. I don't know whether it was their insistance on repeating the number of people that would be there (10-12) or their inability to tell us where they lived that led us to politely decline. Thankfully the Elk's had invited us for a pot luck supper instead.

Unfortunately the Elk's potluck supper was comfortably one of the worst meals I've ever eaten. The best dish was the lasagne because it tasted like canned ravioli. Kate decided the most unpleasant dish was the cold boiled cabbage served in a pan of lukewarm brine; she did not eat the green beans in gray paste.

We ended up in a fancy beer bar knowledgably discussing the wine trade with a fellow stoolman while a middle aged man bought his high school age girlfriend rounds of tequila shooters. Our friend pointed out "with an 18 year old girlfriend, the tequila pays for itself". He really did know a lot about the wine trade.

The band did a cover of "Act Naturally" in swinging alt country fashion (Big Starr?) so I went to talk to the singer after he finished. He told be that he'd toured in England and, when I asked the worst place he'd played, he replied "I've been to Hull".

Harbin Hot Springs

We've escaped the cold of Yosemite by driving for 300 miles to the Harbin hot springs at the head of the Napa valley. Becuase it is a "clothing optional" resort we can't take any photos (as a side note it is also ILLEGAL to put pictures of naked people on the internet as it makes it break and ruins it for everyone) so I've had Kate knock up some artist's impressions to keep you in the loop.

As well as the two warm pools, the hot pool, the plunge pool, a full sized pool and the steam / sauna facilities

residents at harbin can also enjoy free yoga classes

use of the cooking facilities


and hula hoop lessons.


Kate Turner is an artist living in California. For information about commissions ($POA) please email jimbaudturner@googlemail.com. Kate is training to be a courtroom artist.