Saturday, 30 January 2010

Miss Mexico

Miss Mexico 2006 at the Miss Universe Pageant:
"Miss Mexico will tone down the dress she wears to compete in the Miss Universe Pageant ... The floor length dress shows Catholic rebels hanging from posts. There’s a man facing a firing squad. The gown is adorned with a bullet studded belt. The scene is based on a bloody religious war between Catholic rebels and the Mexican government in the 1920s. The designers who selected the dress say it represents the nation’s culture and history".

Friday, 29 January 2010

Beards Megastore


I'll have a Kevin Costner, a David Brent, a 1984 - no wait, a 1989 - Freddy Mercury and a couple of Yorkshire Rippers please.

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Running the Gaunlet

If you enjoy complicated, frequently baffling lunches I can heartily recommend a trip to the 20th November market in Oaxaca:

The system is pretty simple: as you walk down the hallway you are heckled first by a selection of butchers and then by a crowd of people waving trays of spring onions and peppers at you. They will encourage you to sit down at a table already occupied by some other diners: take them up on this offer if only to enjoy their ensuing bafflement. Having exhausted your Spanish and your host's english relax and enjoy a few minutes of contempory mime. Popular themes include: i) vegetable gesticulation ii) meat pointing iii) basket shaking iv) table waving v) generic shrugging. When you feel you've had enough of this, resolve to book more spanish lessons, take a basket of vegetables and wander off in the direction of the meat.

Well that got the butchers pretty excited didn't it? Who knew that they could shout like that? I like to pick the first butcher I come to because I'm easily intimidated, but choose whichever one takes your fancy. Take meat. Pay butcher. Give meat to old woman next to butcher. Stand around self-conciously while meat grills. Become agitated - why is everyone else sitting down? Do they bring it over? Buy tortillas from old lady. Wander off with cooked meat.


Sit down. Stand up. Give meat tray to vegetable man. Retrieve meat tray and grilled vegetables. Buy some cactus salad, salsa and guacamole. Commence eating.

Search for cutlery. Tear meat with hands. Enjoy the atonal bellowings of a mentally ill busker. Boy those chillis are hot! Buy a coke from the soda boy. Become confused. Bolt food. Disuade mentally ill busker from taking your tortillas. Take blurry photo of basket.

Finish eating. Attempt to pay vegetable man for the coke and the soda boy for the vegetables. Pay vegetable man for vegetables and soda boy for a coke. Leave. Admire menudo.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Do you remember when...

...this was a popular and fashionable haircut?Long time ago, wasn't it? I think reading this has made me feel a bit old.

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Don't panic


Updates coming soon.

Monday, 25 January 2010

Interactive shopping opportunity

Ever wanted to celebrate the 4th most likeable member of The Ramones through the medium of a slip on shoe? Or wanted to make the top of your feet resemble a loyalist mural?

If the answer to either of these questions is "yes" then please contact me via the email address at the top of the page and I will be happy to negotiate their purchase and shipping on your behalf. Also available in "Skull Paisley" and "Spooky Piper".
Disclaimer: these slip-on shoes have been wrapped in PLASTIC: actual shoes may be significantly less shiny. I think they cost about £30, but I'm not sure because the man was speaking quite quickly. I can check though.

On a steel horse I ride

Look at me: I'm a cowboy! Yeah!Only the toughest cowboys go on the guided tour of the Entho-botanical gardens in Oaxaca: Carol the guide was VERY informative and Kate even managed to get some photos of the plants in between me posing for her.I got first dibs on the rental hats so I got the one with the pink rim. YEEEEEE-HAW!

Saturday, 23 January 2010

Make a little time for yourself

We all feel a little blue from time to time. Next time you're down in the dumps do what I do: listen to the biggest selling single of 1965 while staring into the eyes of this sad, sad cow:Blow him up to fill the whole screen and just be glad that, no matter how bad things get, no-one is going to try and eat your menudo.

Knightowl

I saw a copy of this in the market yesterday, but didn't buy it:That's the hardest cartoon owl I've ever seen, bar none. I wonder if any of his raps are about how he can swivel his head through 180 degrees and echo locate insects?

Friday, 22 January 2010

Oaxacandroll


Can't believe I missed Repugnant Snell Shit again.