Monday, 30 November 2009

The Dog House, Albuquerque

Hotdogs are tasty but not very photogenic. This is my favorite neon dog in Albuquerque.

Sunday, 29 November 2009


I found this deck of cards in the lounge at the youth hostel. Aren't they weird and horrible?

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Pug Count 16

Pug #16: Apricot butterball waiting expectantly for the Albuquerque Twinkle parade to start. Triple folded "all-natural" neck ruff. An undeniably appealing specimen.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Albuquerque: my kind of town

Tact Squad! Would you mind awfully putting your hands where I can see them? Thanks.
This is only the second best neon dog in town:

Finally people are starting to take notice.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Only the good die young

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning (Monday to Friday 10am-6pm Sunday...1pm-5pm) we will remember them.

At the American International Rattlesnake Museum, 202 San Felipe Road, Albuquerque.

Monday, 23 November 2009


Still not dead, but we're in Albuquerque on the Monday before thanksgiving which is pretty close. It's really really cold here so we're holing up in a youth hostel decorated like an old persons house, appropriately enough with a lot of old people. Should really have splashed out on this luxury "Hackney Council Waste Disposal Services" brand cold weather gear when I had the chance.

Anyway I have a) good internet connection b) time on my hands and c) lots to tell you all so expect lots of fascinating posts about what I've been up to since November 12th. But in the meantime, some art:

Fabulous Las Vegas

Las Vegas is a series of 24-hour Wetherspoons linked together by motorways. Nowhere has any natural light and you are allowed to smoke indoors. Gambling is glamorous, see.

The things that made our trip bearable: a) the 99c Margerita (plastic cup of strawberry slushy with a splash of tequila on the top). Stirred not shaken!
b) my second favorite emigration-themed microbrewery and casino.
c) The Stage Door: 24 hour bar popular with Vegas locals betweem shifts. All drinks 90p. Handy for our hotel and the flyover.

Not recommended: Prawns and ketchup. Even for 99c.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Out and about in Fabulous Las Vegas

In some cultures making a pelican vomit coins is said to bring good luck and prosperity.

Door handles at Terrible's Casino:

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Journey through space and time in Fabulous Las Vegas!

The Eiffel Tower:

Ancient Rome:
The Grande Canal, Venice:
The Arndale Centre, Manchester:

Merlin's Enchanted Flyover:

KLF Headquarters:

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

San Francisco, city of excess

This, for me, would be the perfect day in San Francisco: brunch at Mama's in Little Italy. Pancakes:
Corned beef hash, eggs over easy:

Pan Dore (french toast w/ apple and a light lemon custard):

After that I'd recommend lying on your side for a few hours panting for breath and sweating profusely before heading over to the the Lower Haight for beer and hotdogs. The Toronado styles itself as a heavy duty beer pub and, as we're in America, this means you're in for some pretty heavy duty beer.
Not much under 7-8% on offer here and most of it dangerously drinkable: the only concession to common sense seems to be putting beers over 9% in a slightly smaller glass. I would recommend the Prohibition Big Daddy IPA, Bear Republic Racer 5, arguing with strangers about ice cream, becoming dizzy and outlining, once again, the perils of underestimating Portugal's ambitions on the world stage.
Fortunately next door is the Rosamunde sausage grill where men in their early thirties with tattoos and obscure band T-shirst will grill sausages and sell them too you in a bun in a manner that makes clear that, despite what one may think, you are the loser and they are, frankly, the all seeing eye at the centre of the hip universe - quite an achievement with a tong-full of saurkraut in your hand. Cracking knockwurst though:

Sorry veggies. Anyway after all this you're probably a little peckish: I'd recommend wandering down the hill to the mission district for a burrito or Mexican food tube. Be sure to point at your mouth at all times to avoid looking like a total idiot.

After this I would recommend a few weeks of brown rice, poached fish and lightly steamed vegetables. Or a trip to Las Vegas.

Monday, 16 November 2009

San Francisco, shopping city!

UPDATE! This costs over £10,000. For clarity it is a ceramic model of a olde timey vet injecting some Yorkshire terriers. Ideal for anyone who loves Yorkshire terriers, injections or olde timey vetinarys!

Pug count 15

Pug no. 15: Black w/ "bubbly" body shape. Proceeding rapidly away from "Chaps II" a leather bar in the San Francisco's Pork Gulch. First and only San Francisco pug spot.

Wow! Sounds fun!

UPDATE! I actually found out what this was in the end and it's brilliant: you bring an unwrapped toy to a strip club and they let you in for free. Then the firemen distribute those presents to needy and deserving children. Most of the strip clubs in San Francisco are taking part including the in-no-way-creepily named Little Darlings.
Stay classy San Francisco.

"Free live music after 8pm": a poem

Youth hostel
Large stage stands empty
Ominous bongos.

UPDATE! I can't imagine anything better to accompany a long, cramped bus journey than some improvised violin music. Excellent!

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Analogue gaming

I can highly highly recommend the Musee Mecanique in the otherwise ghastly Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. It has one of the largest collections of coin operated games and amusments. This for example is a sort of proto-Streetfighter 2 where two robots batter the tar out of each other at your command. It's really really hard as you have to use a metal "pistol" to move your tiny tin scrapper to-and-fro whilst pulling two triggers that make his little arms dish out jabs. The only way to win is to land a punch right on the other boxer's chin while rushing forward; I did not manage this even when my opponent had got bored and wandered off.
I really wish I'd taken more photos as there were so many beautiful things:

Dance crying baboon musicians! Dance for my pennies!