For a limited time only!

Print out and keep a copy of this voucher to recieve 50%* off corn and bacon in Pizza Hut.

* Terms and conditions apply. Offer only available in Pizza Hut, Foz de Iguazu, Brazil. For a limited time only. Corn and bacon subject to availabilty. No cash value. Not available in Northern Ireland.

Iguazu

Iguazu falls, Brazil: passionfruit tic tac shown for scale.

Cynar

Cynar (chi-nar-rei) is quite simply one of the best Italian artichoke liqueurs available in rural Argentina today. Enjoy with orange, soda or simply over ice. It tastes a little bit like paracetomal.

Toy story 2

Oh, you've got green eyes
Oh, you've got blue eyes
Oh, you've got closetog-eeeeether eyes

And I've never seen anyone quite like you before
No, I've never met anyone quite like you before

Dear Jamesmaster,

Dear Jamesmaster: I've recently purchased 4.8 litres of Hagmann white wine for £3.80. Unfortunately it tastes like sour sherry and it makes my insides burn like sin. What can I do? Should I just pour the whole thing down a storm drain and chalk it up to experience? Rinse off the dog's shampoo? Trade it for cigarettes with a vagrant?

Foolish tippler! The solution to your problem was right under your nose when your initial lack of attention in the face of a bargain first got you into this pickle. However, this oversight can be easily rectified with my help: simply return to to the supermarket and purchse, in order, a large bottle of soda water, a bag of party ice and a plastic jug. These forces combined can be used to make a "mega spritzer" powerful enough to tame the mighty Torrontes you have chosen to battle. Enjoy your fizzy sherry water young adventurer! Until the next time and the next morning...

Milanesa

Many Argentines consider the Milanesa to be their quintissential national dish because it's a schnitzel with an Italian name. To prepare: take a thin piece of steak, hammer it out until it's thinner. Coat it in egg and breadcrumbs and deep fry it. Leave it rest for a few hours in the corner of a transport cafe and simply reheat in a microwave to order. Ding.

The customer has some hard choices to make: rather than simply have it plain does he want it Knight-style (caballero)? Here the meathorse is "ridden" by two fried egg-questrians sharing a breadcrumb "saddle" which covers the entire beast? Or would you like it Neopolitan style, covered in cheese and waferthin ham and tinned tomatoes, like they have it in Italy? Either way it comes with chips, mash or a salad.

You can either smoke or not smoke, depending on how you look at the sign AND have Neopolitan ice cream for afters. Hopefully some greedy biffer won't have robbed all the chocolate, like happens at home.

Perhaps the most important thing is to ensure that you have some quality big screen entertainment to go with the taste of stale oil in your mouth. For example our fellow diners are seen here enjoying a rare repeat of puppy-centric childhood-Autism tearjerker "After Thomas".

In this scene the grandmother (Sheila Hancock) is comforting her daughter (Keeley Hawes) while her son in law (Ben Miles) plays with Thomas, the dog they have bought as a companion for their autistic son. Over the next 35 knockabout minutes we watch the painful, distressing disintigration of the couple's marriage, Sheila Hancock's death from a heart attack, a bout of frustrated dog-punching, a miscarriage and, finally, a tearful trip to the vets to have the dog put down.

Quite a garnish.. I just hope that the subtitles managed to catch all the nuance for my fellow diners.

Steampunk binge drinking engines

This season's collection

Sophisticated

Elegant

Glamorous

Fun

Comfortable

Cool

Eh?

Bar and Pub's

To the casual mixologist the Bar and Pub's range of liquers may appear confusing or even daunting. However, by simply purchasing the core range of egg, apple and mint you can make a wide range of delicious drinks.
Why not try:

• Mapple: mint and apple, amply muddled together.
• Cool Runnings: half egg / half mint in a frosty punch glass . Kiss my minty egg mon!
• Golden D-egg-licious : equal measures of egg and apple liqueurs, served over ice in an empty egg shell or hollowed out apple.
• Wednesbury Unreasonableness: Egg, Apple and Mint liquers garnished with tears and a stick of rock saying "Dungeness". In a pint glass.

Brought to you by the egg council and the ghost of John Candy.

Toy story

Kate and I have been pretty excited about some of the new Playmobil sets available at the moment so we decided to check out a toy store here in Mendoza.


I thought the bear-baiter looked pretty cool and Kate had set her heart on the Prussian Vagrant set, but we agreed that we'd get the curling and boar hunting sets if we saw them as they both come with a daschhund.


Sadly the only thing available was a poorly placed fake turd and a tank full of grubby, naked Bart Simpsons.

Pop review: Paso de los Toros Light

Paso de los Toros (passing of the bulls) is a Uruguayan commercial line of carbonated soft drinks.

In these photos I am enjoying the refreshing taste of the Pomleo Light (diet grapefruit) flavour inside a blue concrete igloo which promotes Cofler brand ice cream sandwiches.

Please note that this is only a serving suggestion.

Hiya!

Poot poot?

The sad little bus loved to watch the sun set alone.

Ringos In Bariloche

Nice ruff.

Ringo relaxes with his close personal friends Woody Allen, the Terminator and Keith Richards as Lennon "goofs" in the background.

Five ding?

Five pounds to have your photo taken with a St Bernard? Not bloody likely.

So why is it called "Normal" Food and Drink?

Interestingly the "egg eyes" are made from cheese.

Los Beatles

Paul's face is rather smudged.

Ringo looks nice though.

Scenic egg

Rhodesia

They were going to call it Biafra, but it didn't test well in focus groups.

... who died today.

Bus seat, El Bolson, Patagonia.

Los Antiguos

The bustling village Los Antiguos is the cherry growing capital of Argentina. The cherry season is now over:

Hands up, you mothers:

The difference between "teal" and "grey" on the tourist map didn't seem important intially. As it turns out grey means bridge, and teal means ford.

Snack Innovation

I don't know why they had to invent a robot to wear a bandana and ride on a surfboard, but they did. Maybe he can surf for much longer than a human or the bandana is really, really heavy or something. Not sure how to check.

Machitos Bun are a maize based, cheese flavoured snack like Wotsits. They are so large that they have an airhole drilled through their centre to stop them from being a choking hazard.


They are fantastic.